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We want to see Mum for Christmas
$500 raised
17% of $2.9k goal
10 contributors
83 Weeks running
In January of this year my children's mother underwent surgery for a life changing illness. Because she lives in Australia my children have not seen her since May, 2015. I am raising money for flights to surprise her at Christmas.

Tena koutou katoa

In late 2012, after being seperated from my wife for over 12 months, I made a life changing decision to uproot from my life in Australia's Far North Coast. I had lived there for almost 10 years but was ready to head back to my homeland of Aotearoa to be closer to my whanau and teenage daughter, Renee. In a bid to further my education I had applied, and been accepted, into the University of Waikato on the Teaching/Sport and Leisure conjoint programme. In February, 2013 I touched down in New Zealand (NZ) and in tow were my two sons, Kyan and Oliver (Ollie). This was going to be an adventure for all of us.

My start to uni could not have been any better thanks to my good friend Lauren, who really pushed me strive, and I did, and I succeeded. I was awarded the Faculty award for Excellence in my first year and the Te Ahuratanga Maori Leadership scholarship in my second year.

Kyan and Ollie were adjusting to their new life in NZ, busy with family, new schools and friends but they were missing their Mum, especially Ollie as he was only two and a half. Birthdays passed and christmas came and talk of a trip ‘home’ for the boys had to be put on ice. Witht he income of  a solo parent/student I was struggling to keep the books balanced.

 

After an emotional and tumultuous first year, despite a brave face, I was diagnosed with depression in early 2014. In April Kyan and Ollie's Mum came for a visit, staying for five days which they loved, their little hearts bursting with joy and bubbling with love for their mother. I encouraged their mother to make the move, to be closer and be a part of their lives, even if it was just for 6 months but we could never get passed the discussion stage. We still hadn’t resolved issues that caused us to separate. By the end of the year things were no getting better. Financially and Mentally I was still struggling, I was lacking in support for both the kids and myself, all I wanted was a weekend off every now and again, a chance to let off some steam, a chance to recharge, a chance to miss my very active munchkins. I was afraid I was starting to resent them, ‘How could I?, they are just kids’. To help with rising expenses I took on boarders, some were good, helpful and kind; but some were not so good Although financially it was a mild relief, there was more work, more stress and more unnecessary conflict. I saw the year out at university and took a well deserved break over the summer of 2014/15 to recharge.

Over the Summer I was offered a paid role within the Faculty Mentor Unit to assist first year students with navigating their way through lectures, assessments and pastoral care. The job was perfect for me, now I could pay the bills and still be at uni. Being an all or nothing kind of guy, I sank my teeth into the job, partly for passion but mostly for the money. My commitment to my studies had started to slip, by the time I realised, it was too late and I was looking down the barrel of an incomplete semester. Mum came for visit number two, it was short and sweet…..and stressful. Stress levels went up and that's when depression reared its ugly head again. I had let myself down but worse I had let my kids down. I decided to withdraw from Uni and focus on the kids more. Ollie was about to start school and they way I saw it, I only get one chance at this so Uni can wait.

 

With no job I decided to take on another boarder, which lasted only 6 weeks. She wouldn’t pay her way and after being evicted, robbed me of my car, an expensive flat screen TV that a friend had loaned to me and my PC, which had all my uni assignments and family photographs from the past 3 years. Everything was gone. I was hurt, angry, frustrated, devastated. I needed support now more than ever yet no-one was offering and, suffocated by depression, I was too afraid to ask.

 

By the end of the year I was feeling more positive, I was coping with parenting and the boys were performing in school, so I re-enrolled in University for summer school in the new year.

 

After just 3 days in to my summer school paper,  I got the news. My childrens mum had Stage 4 melanoma cancer. It was in her head and in her face. This was not looking good. We had had our differences since we had separated, and it would be fair to say that at times we had both had ill wishes toward each other. This was different. She was my childrens mother, someone they STILL asked about, cared about and thought about DESPITE her being so absent in their life.

I cried as I read her brief email, tmy world had once again been turned on its head yet again.

More to follow...

 

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Perks

$30 NZD
30 minute One on One Personal Training Session
  • 0 ordered
  • 10 remaining
To say thanks for helping us raise money I am offering a 30 minute One on One personal training session to those who live within the Hamilton, NZ area.

As a qualified PT I will provide you with a session that is targeted to your personal fitness level and fitness goal
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$500 NZD
Duty Free Purchases
  • 0 claimed
  • 2 remaining
As a non-drinker/smoker I can use my Duty-free allowance to purchase you bottles of spirits, tobacco, perfume etc. I would be happy to make additional purchases duty free on behalf. As we will be in the Northern NSW area (Close to the Gold Coast/Brisbane I would be happy to shop for you on behalf if provided with funding.
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$1,900 NZD
Tickets for the flight
  • 0 granted
Return tickets from the Gold Coast to Auckland and back come close $2000 for the three of us to travel. I won't allow my boys to travel unaccompanied as Oliver is only 6 and they are still a little apprehensive as they have't seen their mum in a while.
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